SINGAPORE – Ms Zakkiethunnisa Ziawdeen agreed to marry a man her parents chose for her after meeting him just once.
Two weeks later, the 26-year-old public relations senior associate was engaged to Mr Basheer Ahamed Mohamed Azharudeen, a 31-year-old aircraft technician.
After their engagement, the couple met no more than five times before their wedding in August 2025.
“The thing that tipped the scale for me was that he didn’t say no to the things I said I needed to keep in my life after we married,” Ms Zakkiethunnisa said.
“I told him I wanted to go out with my friends and to continue working. So I feel he’s somebody I can work out any differences with.”
Growing up here, the Singaporean had expected to find a husband on her own, but that did not happen.
The elder of two daughters, she had previously turned down her parents’ offers to find her a match. Her younger sister is still studying.
But in 2024, she felt more “settled” after completing a degree in communications and sociology and working for two years. So she said yes to being matchmade.
Meanwhile, Mr Azharudeen, an aeronautical engineering graduate from India’s Tamil Nadu state, moved to Singapore in 2018 for work.
Arranged marriages are common in his home town and family: His elder brother and younger sister were matched with their spouses.
“My parents know me very well, so I will leave the decision to them,” he said of his choice of bride. “They will see the girl’s qualities and know if she can take good care of me.”
Within the Indian Muslim community, to which the couple belongs, marriages arranged by parents or families still take place in Singapore, though they are far less common than they were one or two generations ago.
Marriage solemnisers and community leaders say the practice remains more prevalent among newer immigrants from India.
The couple’s first meeting at an Indian restaurant was a family affair.
Mr Azharudeen arrived with his uncle’s family, while Ms Zakkiethunnisa was accompanied by her parents and aunt. His parents, who live in India, joined via video call.
After formal introductions, the pair were given some time alone to speak, during which they shared their expectations of marriage and what they hoped for in a spouse.
Both said they wanted a practising Muslim and a family-oriented spouse who shares their priorities and values.
They also had another first in common: neither had dated nor been matchmade before.
Following their engagement, they met on their own for meals a handful of times before getting married in August 2025, about nine months after they first met.
Their feelings have since grown, and their relationship has deepened as they got to know each other better.
“It’s a good kind of surprise,” Ms Zakkiethunnisa said. “I have the conviction that he’s someone who can look after me, that he’s invested in my well-being,” she added.
“Over time, I found that he’s a bit more open-minded, and I also discovered his fun side.”
Married life has been good so far, said Mr Azharudeen, who appreciates his wife’s calm nature and the way she looks after him.
“We have confidence in each other,” he said.
The couple hope to have two children.
“I don’t think arranged marriage is for everyone,” Ms Zakkiethunnisa said. “But young people shouldn’t be so quick to rule it out – you never know what you might find,” she added.
“Feelings can be temporary, but I think what makes it (marriage) work is that our priorities, values and expectations are aligned. I have a stronger conviction now that I made the right choice.”
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This article was first published in The Straits Times. Permission required for reproduction.
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