Toby-Alexander Smith has opened up about suffering from postnatal depression and wanting to be a role model for his two daughters.
The actor, 35, who is best known for playing Gray Atkins in EastEnders, has two children with his wife, Emmerdale star Amy Walsh, 39.
They welcomed their first child, Bonnie, in 2021, and their second daughter, Nell, in March this year.
In an interview with the Daily Mail, Toby opened up about his mental health after welcoming his first child.
He said: ‘My wife Amy had actually done a postnatal depression storyline on Emmerdale when she was pregnant, and so I sort of knew all the signs to look out for in her.
‘And I was watching her like a hawk, only to realise that some of those same symptoms were showing up in myself.’
Toby-Alexander Smith has opened up about wanting to be a role model for his two daughters amid his fears of the manosphere
The EastEnders actor, with daughter Bonnie, now five, also has a baby, Nell, who was born in March
Toby has two children with his wife, Emmerdale star Amy Walsh
Toby continued: ‘The highs and the lows were a lot, you know. And that feeling of helplessness and guess a feeling of failure at times.
‘Just that overwhelm, the sheer overwhelm of not being able to cope, it really does creep up on you.’
Discussing how he and Amy supported each other through the tough time, he said: ‘We’re good communicators, so I think that did help to identify it fairly early on, because it is tough.
‘It was only really when I sort of delved into the research of mental health, you see that there is a community of men out there who are going through the same thing.
‘There isn’t any kind of reference point for dads.
‘It’s a growing community and more and more conversations are starting to happen now, which I think is amazing and, you know, so important.’
Toby channeled his experience into writing Finding Calm – a short film about a first-time father who becomes overwhelmed by the disconnect he feels from his son – in which he starred with Amy.
Elsewhere in the interview, Toby opened up about wanting to be a male role model for his daughters.
He explained: ‘You know, raising two girls, trying to be a male role model to them, I think is so incredibly important, because I do think it’s a scarier time.
‘And, you know, but I’m, I’m so proud of two girls and yeah, I love them to bits. We’re very lucky.’
Toby’s first post after becoming a dad for the second time, taking baby Nell home from hospital with his eldest daughter Bonnie
Revealing his fears of the manosphere and wanting to protect his two girls, Toby said: ‘I’m hoping there’s going to be a huge shift by the time they’re introduced to technology and film, because I would be very daunted and anxious.
‘Now, at the current time, there’s a lot of noise on social media that’s really not good and very unpleasant.
‘I’d hate to think of my daughter being ten years older than she is now and seeing and hearing some of the conversations that boys and men are having.
‘I’d like to think that it’s gonna be a monumental shift because something’s got to give.’
Amy and Toby tied the knot after three years together in an idyllic ceremony at the Talici Hill Rustic Villa in Montenegro in 2023.
They met when they were both in the Strictly Come Dancing audience in 2019, and they struck up a relationship a year later.
Talking to OK! about their wedding, they said: ‘It was honestly the most perfect day. It surpassed all my expectations and more. I felt so surprisingly present on the day and loved every second. Now I’m just in pure bliss.’
Amy also revealed the incredible present she received from her sister Kimberley – their grandmother’s ring and the loan of a pair of £1,500 Chanel earrings to act as her ‘something borrowed’ on the big day.
Speaking about the gifts, she said: ‘I hadn’t thought about the “something old, new, borrowed and blue”, but luckily my bridesmaids had…
‘My sister, Kimberley, gave me the ring she inherited from my grandma. She wears it every day and it epitomises my grandma. I wore it on my little finger so I had my grandma and grandad with me on the day, which was amazing.’
Starring opposite Joan Collins in the new Amazon Prime movie, A Murder Between Friends
Toby’s latest project is Amazon Prime’s murder-mystery, crime-comedy A Murder Between Friends, in which he stars opposite Dame Joan Collins, who also co-produced the film with husband Percy Gibson, 61, and the writer/director Mark Rozzano.
Dame Joan, 93, plays ‘showbiz sleuth’ Francesca Carlyle, while Toby’s character is a guest at a reunion at a grand country estate.
In the whodunit, six old friends get together at the sprawling estate of a celebrity TV true-crime star, but then someone is murdered in the hot tub.
The group has to turn to their celebrity hostess (Dame Joan) to uncover the culprit before they strike again.
A Murder Between Friends is on digital (inc. Amazon, Apple TV, Sky Store, Virgin Movies, Google / YouTube Movies, Rakuten) from Plaion Pictures
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