Local singer-entrepreneur Taufik Batisah’s wife Sheena Akbal recently revealed she went through in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) six times.
In the first episode of the podcast Couch Conversations SG with host Amirra uploaded to YouTube on April 8, Sheena admitted “it’s a very lonely journey”.
“There are a lot of support groups but how much support can they give?” remarked the 42-year-old during the episode.
“IVF is something you are never going to be prepared for. You can do all the readings you want and talk to people but you need firsthand experience to understand what is going to happen.”
Sheena married 44-year-old Taufik in 2015 and they do not have any children currently.
She talked about meeting an older woman who asked her when she was going to have kids.
“I’ve never met her before. That was the first time. I was trying to be polite but I felt the heat rising [up my neck],” she recalled.
“To make matters worse, she touched my stomach while she said that.”
This prompted her to share a personal struggle “for the first time” publicly.
“I’ve gone through IVF six times,” she revealed.
“The pain, agony and emotional rollercoaster create a little space in your mind that is not good. So when things like this happen, it triggers me because it takes me back to that space.”
She also said she suffered a miscarriage but did not reveal when it happened.
While the stranger’s remark “ruined her day”, Sheena said she couldn’t fault her for it.
“Taufik is a personality and people think they know us because we do a lot of couple videos… I think that’s their way of being friendly but not realising how abrasive it is to me,” she explained.
Amirra later asked Sheena why going through IVF was important to her.
“Before we got married, we have spoken about kids before. At our wedding, he said he wanted three, I said I wanted two. Now we have zero but it’s okay. Although we don’t have kids, we’ve been blessed with so many other things,” she said, before going into the specifics.
“I think to not be able to have a child means no one will carry our legacy. And when you get married, a child naturally comes next. We will never get there.”
She also shared her nieces and nephews aren’t in Singapore and got emotional while talking about her grandmother.
“Her joy being an 88-year-old woman is to have kids around and she doesn’t have that luxury with me. I’m the first grandchild so it saddens me a lot because she will never be able to hold my child,” she said.
“Taufik and I will never get to experience this as well. There will never be a gender reveal or first birthday party… So that kind of breaks my heart.”
Sheena added Taufik was with her on the journey from the start and was at every appointment.
“He’s never said, ‘Sorry I can’t make it.’ He will change whatever it takes and go with me. He’s there when I wake up. He’s there when I’m groggy and I need to go pee after the procedure. He’s the one bringing me to the toilet,” she recounted.
“So after all that, I have nothing to show for it. That’s the part that kills me until today.”
In episode two of the podcast uploaded to YouTube yesterday (April 15), which also featured Taufik and Amirra’s husband Elfi, Taufik said his role in the journey was simply to support Sheena and be there for her in whatever she needed to do.
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