“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” star Demi Engemann spends plenty of time sharing her life on screen—but behind closed doors, the reality TV personality retreats to a dark, moody bedroom she’s designed to feel like a private sanctuary.
Engemann, 31, first rose to reality TV fame appearing in the first three seasons of the hit Hulu show, which follows a group of Utah influencers navigating friendships, family life, and the pressures of social media fame.
Several of the show’s stars have since ventured beyond the confines of the series, with Taylor Frankie Paul set to star in the new season of “The Bachelorette,” while castmate Whitney Leavitt took center stage in “Dancing With the Stars,” before being featured in the Broadway rendition of “Chicago.”
However, the women will all be returning to their reality TV roots for the fourth season of “Mormon Wives,” which premieres on March 12.
It will see Engemann once again returning to the fray, albeit in a very different way.
Her role in the upcoming season will see her taking a step back from the height of the drama, serving not as a central character but as a “friend” of one of the cast members, a decision that she has previously said came from her desire to maintain a balance between her personal life and her on-screen career.
That determination to prioritize her well-being has also played a large role in Engemann’s home life, she now reveals in the latest installment of Celebrity Sanctuary.
She explains how she and her husband, Bret Engemann, have committed themselves to creating a true refuge, one that she hopes will help her to overcome the fertility struggles she has faced for the past five years.
Speaking to Realtor.com®, the reality TV star and influencer candidly revealed how living in different rental homes during that time left her feeling as if she didn’t have her own space—creating a sense that she was constantly being uprooted, with no safe place to call her own.
“I had a conversation with [Brett] where I said maybe subconsciously my body doesn’t feel rooted,” she explained.
Engemann’s fertility struggles played a major role in her on-screen life, where viewers saw her opening up about the treatments that she and her husband were undergoing—all the while searching for answers about why they hadn’t conceived.
But she now says those issues were just as present inside her home, where she craved a feeling of comfort and security, one that she had struggled to find in the couple’s previous rented abodes.
So, Engemann turned to a professional interior designer, whom she worked with to overhaul her Utah rental, to create a “moody” haven where she finally feels at peace.
Here, the reality TV star reveals in her own words how she turned her house into a home—and how it became the perfect place for her to escape the world of on-screen drama.
Plot twist, we actually did not purchase the home—we’re renting. But it kind of makes it that much more special, because we’ve made it our own. I feel like I haven’t really had the chance to do that before.
Through both marriages, we rented, and I’ve rented every single place that we’ve ever lived in. I never felt like we could really make any changes or do anything to personalize the space.
I feel like it’s relatable because a lot of people are renting, and they feel like, “Oh, this place isn’t
my own.” But it’s like, “No—you can still make your place feel like yours.”
That’s what was so fun about the process. We did so many things that renters can do that landlords can’t get upset about, but that still feel like real changes.
The wallpaper and the flooring are all removable, and most people would never know that if they just walked in. They’d think we tore up the floor or completely redid the space, but everything is renter-friendly.
It’s always a battle of wondering if it’s even worth it because you might move in a year or a few years. That was always my biggest struggle. I’d think, this isn’t my place, so I’m not going to touch it. And then I always felt transient, like I didn’t have roots in the ground.
My husband and I have also been trying to have a baby for just about five years now. I had a conversation with him where I said maybe subconsciously my body doesn’t feel rooted. Maybe it doesn’t feel like I have a place that truly feels like home or somewhere that feels safe.
That really opened up the conversation with our interior designer, Lindy from Four Chairs. I told her I needed this house to feel like a home and like my own space.
It was a very collaborative effort to bring more feminine energy into the home and make it feel personalized and homey. We really wanted a safe haven where we could relax and melt into the walls of our home.
There’s so much craziness happening outside of the house, especially with the show and everything going on in our personal lives, so we really wanted it to feel peaceful inside.
We’ve been here for almost three years now, which is crazy to think about.
The primary bedroom was very intentional. I wanted it to feel moody and sensual, with a mix of masculine and feminine energy.
The colors are very dark and moody and masculine, but then the prints bring in more femininity. There are floral patterns, checkers, and different artwork that I’m drawn to, like a swan and a photo of France above our bed.
It was important for me to incorporate my husband into the design, too, because he’s part of the equation. I wanted him to feel just as good when he walked into the room and feel like it was a safe haven for him, too.
There are times when we’re just hanging out in there, and he looks around and says he loves our bedroom and how it feels in there.
I’m a control freak, and I like to have my hand in every decision, but Lindy at Four Chairs was phenomenal. She would create mood boards and ideas, and then I’d help tweak them. It ended up being a really collaborative process, which was fun for me and gave me a creative outlet.
The house has five bedrooms and four bathrooms, so it’s a really decent-sized home.
My favorite space is easily our bedroom. My husband and I say it all the time when we’re lying in bed at night—we just love it there. Everyone who comes over says the same thing when they see it.
Another thing that really cozies up the home is the fireplace. I’m actually sitting next to it right now. It changes the whole tone of the house, especially during the holidays. Utah gets freezing in the winter, so turning on the fire instantly makes everything feel warm and cozy.
I do like to entertain and host, but the house isn’t quite big enough for the kind of gatherings I dream about someday.
I have dreams of building a home that’s very open concept, rambler-style, with big glass sliding doors that open to a pool and outdoor area.
My husband and I spend a lot of time on Pinterest coming up with ideas and looking at lots because we really do want to build our own dream home eventually. I think about every little detail when I’m looking around the house—every closet, every cabinet, every little design choice—and it makes me excited to someday have full creative freedom.
Ideally, we’d find a lot with some land and build from the ground up so we can decide every single detail.
We’ve actually been looking for the last couple of years. The market has been so crazy, so we’ve been waiting for things to settle a bit before making a big decision. Recently, we’ve gotten more serious about finding a lot where we’d want to build.
Hopefully, in the next few months to a year, we’ll be starting that process, which is really exciting to think about.
It’s been such a wild journey with the show, but it’s also been amazing to see everyone getting opportunities from it. It’s been fun to watch people shine and carve their own paths.
There are also some really fun things in the works for me. I can’t announce anything yet, but there are exciting things coming. It’s been a rough year, so I’m really excited to start being excited again about what’s ahead.
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