Millie Mackintosh has opened up about her struggles with alcohol and how it left her getting into catfights with women she had just met before turning to sobriety.
The former Made In Chelsea star, 35, decided to go sober two and a half years ago after noticing she became an ‘angry’ and ‘nasty’ drunk – and hasn’t looked back since.
Speaking on the Mail’s Life of Bryony podcast with Bryony Gordon, which was released on Monday, Millie said she also lived in constant fear of being caught drunk on camera in the public eye.
She said: ‘I just remember a night where you would go over to a mums house, there would maybe be like eight of you there, and it would be an episode of like Desperate Housewives Of Chiswick where I’m suddenly be in a catfight with some woman I had just met.
‘And then trying to get home and can’t get the keys in the lock, waking Hugo [Taylor] up and the baby and your just like a complete mess.’
Millie also described the downward spiral effect that alcohol had on her relationship with husband Hugo Taylor.
Millie Mackintosh, 35, has opened up about her struggles with alcohol and how she would often get into catfights with women she had just met before turning to sobriety
The Made In Chelsea star decided to go sober two and a half years ago after noticing she became an ‘angry’ and ‘nasty’ drunk (pictured on the show in 2011)
Millie also described the downward spiral effect that alcohol had on her relationship with husband Hugo Taylor (pictured)
The mother-of-two, who wed Hugo in 2018, said: ‘For me I’d actually started to get quite angry and nasty.
‘But it wasn’t, like if I was on a night out that I’d just be in an immense rage with a stranger, it would be at the end of the night and directed at him.’
Millie said she would also be in constant fear of being caught drunk on camera after she shot to fame on Made On Chelsea in 2011.
She said: ‘The fear of being exposed was constant. I was terrified someone would catch me on camera at my worst.
‘I was living in constant fear that there was going to be pictures of me wasted, [I was] always waiting for a call from my agent to be like “Millie, what the f*** is this?”
‘You know with camera phones, it happened to me a couple of times. So then every time I was out and I was drinking in public, I was then terrified the next morning that someone had posted evidence of it somewhere.’
She added: ‘For me, it feels impossible to do all these things and go to these events and parties and do it alcohol free but it feels so scary but on the other side of that fear is the most beautiful life and don’t wait to do it.
‘It’s the ultimate self-love choice to put yourself first.’
Speaking on the Mail’s Life of Bryony podcast with Bryony Gordon, which released Monday, Millie said she also lived in constant fear of being caught drunk on camera in the public eye
She said: ‘I just remember a night where you would go over to a mums house, there would maybe be like eight of you there, and it would be an episode of like Desperate Housewives Of Chiswick where I’m suddenly be in a catfight with some woman I had just met’
The mother-of-two, who wed Hugo in 2018, added: ‘For me I’d actually started to get quite angry and nasty. But it wasn’t, like if I was on a night out that I’d just be in an immense rage with a stranger, it would be at the end of the night and directed at him’
Millie said she would also be in constant fear of being caught drunk on camera after she shot to fame on Made On Chelsea in 2011 (pictured last week)
Millie decided to go and see a sober coach, who helped her and has now steered clear of booze for more than two years.
Millie took to Instagram in August to celebrate two years sober.
She said: ‘Today marks a big milestone for me – two years since I discovered alcohol-free life.
‘It’s hard to put into words just how much this journey has transformed my life, but I want to share my experience and reflect on the incredible changes that have come with it.
‘For me, sobriety isn’t just about ditching booze; it’s been about rediscovering myself, finding inner peace, and truly living my life to the fullest! I realised that I wasn’t the best version of myself when I was drinking, I and something had to change.
‘Taking that first step was terrifying – it meant confronting the reasons behind why I was drinking in a destructive way and facing a lot of uncomfortable truths.
‘But deep down, I knew it was the only way to break free and create a life that truly reflected who I wanted to be.
‘In this second year, I realised that my problems didn’t just go away when I stopped drinking, and in therapy have really had to dig deep into my past and look at things I’ve buried for a long time, it’s an ongoing process of healing.
Millie decided to go and see a sober coach, who helped her and has now steered clear of booze for more than two years
‘However I am able to now face challenges with a clear mind and a steady heart, rather than being overwhelmed by anxiety or stress.
‘Physically, I feel stronger and more resilient than I ever did before. My skin is clearer, my energy levels are higher, and I sleep so much better.
‘It’s amazing how much our bodies can heal and thrive when we treat them with the love and care they deserve.
‘Sobriety has also allowed me to rebuild and strengthen my relationships. I’m more present with my loved ones, more empathetic, and more connected. I’m no longer hiding behind a haze; instead, I’m fully engaged and truly appreciate the people in my life.
‘Every day, I’m learning more about myself and I’m excited for what the future holds. To everyone reading this who is on their own journey – whether you’re just starting out or have been sober for years – I would love to hear from you.
‘How has your journey been? What challenges have you faced, and what victories have you celebrated?’
If you need help, contact Alcohol Anonymous: 0800 917 7650 / help@aamail.org
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