Clarkson’s Farm
Amazon Prime Video
The fifth series of Jeremy Clarkson’s global super-hit has had an inevitable (forgive me) change of gear.
‘Welcome back,’ its star announces in voiceover at the top of episode one, ‘to Clarkson’s Farm, where everything is as we left it… nearly.’
I’m a Clarkson fan because he is exceptionally good at what he does – and not just because he once described me as ‘the nation’s second-best TV critic’ (given his best mate was the late AA Gill I was happy to be the runner-up).
One of his great broadcasting skills is deploying the trademark deadpan delivery even while talking about serious stuff.
On the subject of which, over footage of an ambulance speeding away from the farm in full ‘nee-nah’ mode: ‘A few weeks previously I’d tried to open my pub while simultaneously doing the harvest, and it had all been… a bit too stressful.’
Clarkson came close to death and while he doesn’t exactly brush it off he does, predictably, play it for mordant laughs.
Nonetheless, the scene in which he returns to the farm post-surgery is as heartfelt and touching a bit of TV as you’ll see this year.
KATHRYN FLETT has praised Clarkson’s Farm ‘wince-inducingly real’ new series with a five star review as she brands it ‘the most touching bit of TV you’ll see this year’
‘You’re back!’ exclaims farm manager Kaleb.
‘I’m back… and not dead. The Reaper will have to wait… it was close, though.’
‘I have been worried… I’ve been properly worried, actually.’ There is even hugging.
‘They put me in this big Polo mint and found I’d got really bad coronary artery problems… and then they got the Dyno-Rod out.’
The first few series of Clarkson’s Farm entertained as much as they informed – now, however, the stakes are clearly higher.
Still, plenty of laughs remain, including F1’s Oscar Piastri attempting to reverse a tractor and trailer while an unimpressed Kaleb asks ‘Who is he?’ along with The Corrs’ expressions on being shown their pre-gig ‘changing room’ at the pub.
There are also problems (and look-away-now moments) with ‘the sheeps’, and the possibility that Diddly Squat’s bull is less a suitor, more ‘the lady cows’ gay best friend’.
Mostly, though, farm life remains wince-inducingly real – as when Clarkson defies doctor’s orders to speak at the rally in Westminster protesting the farm tax after Rachel Reeves’s Budget.
The first few series of Clarkson’s Farm entertained as much as they informed – now, however, the stakes are clearly higher (pictured Jeremy Clarkson and Kaleb Cooper)
During which a moist-eyed farmer tells the camera, ‘We’re being punished for producing food. And looking after the countryside.’
Though brushes with death inevitably help a man in his sixties re-prioritise, they may not steer him quite as far away from a steak as Clarkson’s partner Lisa would like.
As the bearer of bad tidings in the form of Greek yoghurt and kale (albeit thankfully not in the same bowl) to which Jeremy turns up his nose, Lisa doesn’t miss a beat: ‘Oh, don’t be such a petulant little child – just get healthier!’
Ironically we’re lucky to be able to binge on the lifestyle that, arguably, nearly killed the creator of this reliably brilliant telly – now with added heart and soul.
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