Jackie ‘O’ Henderson has reveled that she felt shame and dislike for herself before she publicly revealed her struggles with drugs and alcohol.
The radio host, 49, detailed her battle with addiction and secret rehab stint in her biography, The Whole Truth.
‘I was numbing so much of myself. I was just coasting in life – and there was never any questions of who am I, or what do I stand for… that person was living a very surface life’ she tells the Daily Telegraph.
‘I didn’t know what loving yourself even really meant – was that just telling yourself you’re beautiful in the mirror?’ she continued.
Jackie went on to explain the process of telling her daughter, Kitty, 14, about her addiction battle.
‘We have a pretty open dialogue with each other, and there is a lot of trust there – but ultimately you just also want to protect them. But I don’t want to wrap cotton wool around her either’ she said.
Jackie ‘O’ Henderson (pictured) has reveled that she felt shame and dislike for herself before she publicly revealed her struggles with drugs and alcohol
Jackie added that ‘other mums’ at Kitty’s school have supported her and reached out to her.
‘She hasn’t had any problems in the playground from it. And I just think that part was really lovely, it really was’ Jackie said.
The radio star recently revealed the one sign which pointed towards her secret drug and alcohol addiction.
Jackie told how she spiralled into a deep addiction following the 2018 breakdown of her marriage to UK photographer Lee Henderson and again during the Covid-19 lockdown.
At the height of her addiction, Jackie took around 10-12 Stilnox/Zolpidem sleeping pills and 24 Panadeine Forte a day and wash them down with alcohol – which medics warn is highly dangerous.
However, she kept her addiction battle a secret from her loved ones, saying she had long Covid when she took an extended absence from work in November 2022 to check into The Betty Ford Clinic in California.
Speaking to the Sydney Morning Herald, she said her friends began noticing her blackout forgetfulness and would often remind her: ‘Jackie, we talked about that last night, remember?’
This led to her writing her real-time phone conversations down on Post-it Notes to later remind her of what they had spoken about in a bid to conceal her struggles.
The radio host, 49, detailed her battle with addiction and secret rehab stint in her biography, The Whole Truth. ‘I was numbing so much of myself.. that person was living a very surface life’ she tells the Daily Telegraph
Jackie went on to explain the process of telling her daughter, Kitty, 14, (left) about her addiction battle. ‘We have a pretty open dialogue with each other, and there is a lot of trust there – but ultimately you just also want to protect them’ she said
Her personal assistant Brittany Woodford also began to notice empty blister packets of medication and felt conflicted in her duty to Jackie’s wellbeing and her role as an employee.
‘It was so hard to sit in that – to see someone you love suffering,’ Brittany, 35, explained. ‘There’s a line though: she’s like my sister, but also my boss.’
She said she ultimately decided to start leaving gentle letters around for Jackie to find urging her to seek out help, but her efforts were to no avail at the time.
Meanwhile, her best friend Gemma O’Neill, who was the one to eventually persuade Jackie to go to rehab, said her pal started completely isolating herself.
‘I thought for a while there that she’d developed agoraphobia,’ she told the Sydney Morning Herald.
‘Honestly, that’s what I was leaning into, because the reality was so far from what I would ever have guessed.’
Though unaware of her drug addiction, her mother Julie Last also raised concerns about Jackie’s drinking, but said her daughter would get defensive and shout at her.
Eventually, Jackie confided in her best friend Gemma about her struggles, which led to them flying out of Australia in secret to go to The Betty Ford Clinic in California.
Jackie said Betty Ford told her not to change ‘anything’ about her usage before arriving as it could be ‘dangerous’ so she was still taking pills the day she flew out to the US.
Known for treating Hollywood stars including Keith Urban, Robert Downey Jr. and Lindsay Lohan, Betty Ford charges anywhere from $45,000 to $90,000 AUD for a month-long stay, depending on the program.
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