Liza Minelli looked back at her mom Judy Garland’s death in her new memoir, nearly six decades after the iconic actress’ passing.
She recalled feeling a “flood” of “panic, heartache and confusion” when she found out Garland had died in London in June 1969 at age 47, she wrote in “Kids, Wait Till You Hear This,” out Tuesday.
Minelli, who was in Southampton, N.Y., at the time, was “crushed” and “overwhelmed” by the loss.
“At the same time, I realized that someone had to organize a complicated public funeral, starting now,” the now-79-year-old recalled. “And that person was me.”
Minelli was subsequently “triggered” when a doctor prescribed her Valium to tackle the “stress and tension” of their service.
“It was the first time I took any such drug, and I marveled at how quickly it took the edge off,” the EGOT winner wrote, comparing the experience to “a match igniting a fire.”
She wrote, “What began as a one-day blessing soon turned into a habit, then a full-blown case of addiction in the years ahead.”
Minelli referred to her addiction as “a final gift, a genetic inheritance from Mama [she] could not escape,” referencing Garland’s own substance abuse issues.
The “Wizard of Oz” star died of a barbiturate overdose, with the tragedy eventually ruled an accident and not suicide.
Minelli, for her part, went to rehab multiple times from 1984 on — and she got sober in 2015.
The “Cabaret” singer, who covers her struggles in the tell-all, also breaks down her complicated dynamic with Garland while the “A Star Is Born” star was alive.
“There were moments of great love from her, as well as stinging critiques I came to dread,” Minelli told readers. “A feeling of deep inadequacy. Years later, I wonder if I’ve fully risen above it.”
She claimed Garland once told a producer to get Minelli “off [her] f–king stage” as they performed at the London Palladium together in 1964.
“Her drive, her competitive force, wouldn’t let her take a back seat to anyone. It didn’t matter that I was her daughter,” Minelli noted. “It took me several years … no, decades … before I understood that her competition with me was a compliment to the performer I was becoming.”
If you or someone you care about is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
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