British fitness influencer Meggan Kirkland has revealed that she suffered a pregnancy loss.
“Recently, we found out a new little human was joining our family, and quickly, the life we had started to imagine as a 4, was gone,” Meggan, 29, wrote via Instagram on Tuesday, February 17, referencing husband Niall Kirkland. “Like a shooting star, you shot into our world and almost as quickly, flew out of sight.”
She continued, “I’d never really heard much about early loss/chemical pregnancies. I don’t love the term chemical because it almost deems it less ‘real,’ which it isn’t. That euphoric feeling, your world shifting, the endless possibilities of where life is about to go, who you’re going to meet, when you first see that positive test, to it then being snatched away, feels unbearable.”
A chemical pregnancy, according to the Cleveland Clinic, is a miscarriage that occurs before the fifth week in pregnancy.
“I wasn’t sure whether to share this, whether it was too personal, but actually, this space has always made me feel so welcome and at home,” Meggan wrote via Instagram. “And isn’t this life? The real, raw, difficult parts that we often feel ashamed to share. I know for so many people who are quietly experiencing this pain, it can feel so lonely.”
She continued, “So, if you’re walking through something similar right now, or have done before, you aren’t alone at all.”
Meggan and her husband, Niall, have since been supported by a community online while grieving their loss.
“Thank you for the outpouring of love and sharing stories similar with me,” Meggan wrote via her Instagram Stories on Wednesday, February 18. “I wanted to send the love back to everyone else who’s experienced it too. Every day feels a little bit easier, the mornings are the hardest. I wake up and forget for a minute, then I remember.”
Meggan told followers she’s tried to remember to find joy and hope in moving forward.
“I know there’s still joy, and I’m focusing on the pieces I can find in the days while this feels heaviest,” she stated. “My world feels a bit less small and a bit less sad since letting in the people I love and you guys on here. So thank you for that.”
Meggan, a fitness influencer with more than one million Instagram followers, also shared a poem about her loss.
“Tiny toes I’ll never count, your skin I’ll never smell,” the poem began. “Your eyelashes, how long were they? Time, it will not tell. You left this world before you came, and now we are apart. I hope you felt my warmth, my love, [and] the beating of my heart.”
The poem concluded, “Now, here I am left grieving for the soul I’ll never need. I’ll never get to touch your tiny skin or kiss your tiny feet. Your life was only short, my love, before you went away. So, save a place in heaven for me. I’ll meet you there, someday.”
Meggan and Niall have been married since 2022 and already share daughter Winnie.
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