SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt almost redefined the term “news dump” on live TV.
Van Pelt, 58, recounted the time he had a fecal fiasco brewing while on camera during the Wednesday, April 2 episode of Travis and Jason Kelce’s “New Heights” podcast. He also described the fascinating remedy that his colleague, Mark Schlereth (aptly nicknamed “Stink”), had for him.
“I was having a rough day. Had a little gurgle in the belly,” Van Pelt began. “[I] said to Stink, ‘There’s a decent chance that while we’re sitting out here, I might s*** my pants.’ And Stink says to me, ‘It’s fine, it’s fine. You just need to put some leaves in the gutter.’”
It was a phrase that the longtime ESPN personality hadn’t heard before, so Schlereth, 59, explained.
“He’s like, ‘You just take a big giant ball of toilet paper and you ball it up and you put it in your a** crack and then while you’re sitting there in your boxers, it’s basically like a diaper of sorts.’”
Though no one asked Van Pelt to continue, he went into further detail about his digestive distress.
“I wasn’t gonna full on s*** my pants,” he insisted. “It was gonna be just a shart kind of a moment … And so I had leaves in the gutter, and I’m happy to say I did not need the leaves in the gutter. But fellas, maybe ladies, when in doubt, if you need to go ‘leaves in the gutter.’ There’s a pro tip from Mark Schlereth to me, to you. And that’s the story of how SVP almost s*** his pants on TV.”
The story is gross, there’s no way around it. But “New Heights” may have been the perfect outlet to share it on, considering Jason has previously used the platform to admit to an accident of his own before an NFL game.
Jason, who played for the Philadelphia Eagles from 2013 to 2022, recalled his own failure to stop the running game while in full uniform during a November 2024 episode.
“You know when you shart and you know that there’s a possibility something came out but you’re not certain?” he asked his brother.
“I go out for warm ups, do the whole warm ups, and [teammate] Lane [Johnson] comes up to me after and he’s like, ‘Hey, you’ve got s*** all up on your pants right now,’” he continued. “It was disgusting.”
Perhaps some leaves in the gutter would have helped him.
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