Nikki Glaser had several Ben Affleck jokes lined up for her hosting gig at the 2025 Golden Globes — but ultimately scrapped all but one.
Following her rave reviews on Sunday night, the comedian sat down with Howard Stern to discuss several of the jokes that were cut from her opening monologue — including one “insane” quip about Affleck’s love life.
“[I almost said], like, ‘Am I gonna roast or am I gonna toast? You know what? I’m not roasting. I’m gonna toast,’” she said on Monday’s episode of SiriusXM’s “The Howard Stern Show.”
“And I just did all these toasts that were roasts. Like, ‘Here’s to Ben Affleck, I can’t wait to see which Jennifer you try to ruin next.’”
“And I argued like, ‘Oh, I didn’t say ruin them. I said he tried to ruin them so it’s not against them.’ But I was like, ‘That would have been insane.’”
The “Argo” actor wed Jennifer Garner in 2005 but they announced their split a decade later. He then rekindled his romance with former fiancée Jennifer Lopez in April 2021 and they tied the knot in July 2022.
However, Lopez filed for divorce from her “Gigli” costar, who she originally dated from 2002 to 2004, over the summer.
While Affleck’s former partners were spared, the Oscar winner didn’t make it out unscathed.
Glaser opened the 82nd annual Golden Globe Awards roasting audience members and at-home viewers alike, giving Affleck a funny shoutout.
“Tonight, we celebrate the best of film and hold space for television,” she said, listing a few of the films nominated. “Yes, ‘Wicked,’ ‘Queer,’ ‘Nightbitch.’”
“These are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms,” she joked. “These are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight.”
Glaser also took shots at Selena Gomez’s fiancé Benny Blanco, Timothée Chalamet, Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban and Sean “Diddy” Combs, who likely didn’t watch the awards ceremony from his jail cell in Brooklyn.
However, ahead of the show, Glaser told Entertainment Tonight that she wasn’t “out for blood” — just laughs.
“You won’t be crying later about my jokes,” she told the outlet. “Just be a cool person that laughs at yourself.”
“If I make a joke about you I promise you it’s not meant to take you down or point out something about yourself that no one else has noticed.”
While Glaser kept her monologue more light-hearted rather than a full-on roast, some of her scrapped jokes surely teetered the line.
Amongst the cut quips, the stand-up comedian took aim at the Catholic Church, Leonardo DiCaprio, Nicolas Cage, Alec Baldwin, Dax Shepard and more.
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