As a first-time mum, nothing terrified me in the first few weeks postpartum like the prospect of bringing my baby out of the house, especially if I were to do it alone. The thought of preparing all of my barang, plus handling diaper changes, crying, and feeding felt so troublesome that I spent weeks only taking her out of the house whenever we needed to visit the polyclinic.
But as anyone who remembers the Circuit Breaker would know, being confined indoors for that long can wreak havoc on both our physical and mental health. When I couldn’t take the cabin fever anymore, my husband and I started taking out our baby together. Once he returned to the office though, I was back to square one, spending hours at home staring at my baby while she stared at me.
Of course I could ask my domestic helper to accompany us, but that felt like a stop-gap measure for my actual goal, which was to develop the confidence to bring the baby out by myself.
I finally bit the bullet a few weeks ago, and while there were a few tears involved — from both the baby and myself — she and I have since gotten so used to our solo mother-and-daughter dates that our day no longer feels complete until she and I go outside.
As a bonus, my social life is flourishing like never before, now that I can say yes to playdates without checking if my husband can drive or accompany us.
Want to start bringing your baby out alone? Here are my tips:
Practice with babywearing and using a stroller at home
Unless you’re a weightlifting champion, you’ll need either a baby carrier or a pram when bringing your baby outside, but it may take some practice, especially when they’re newborns. I could barely buckle mine into the carrier without her crying the house down, which made me despair at the thought of being homebound forever.
The good news is that babies generally enjoy going outside because all the new sights, sounds, and smells stoke their inherent curiosity. So if you can help your baby associate the pram and the carrier with fun times outside, they’ll start protesting less eventually. With my friends’ encouragement, I began wearing her in the carrier for five to 10 minutes at a time to help her get used to the sensation. I’d ride the lift downstairs and walk around for another five to 10 minutes to help her build the association. After a week or so, I extended the timing to about 20 minutes, then 30 minutes. Nowadays, my baby is all smiles whenever I bust out the carrier!
If your baby continues to cry, you can consider asking other parent friends to help you with the adjustment of your carrier or with the angle of your pram. There are also a number of professional babywearing consultants in Singapore who can help you adjust the fit of the carrier and the angle of your baby’s hips.
Go after your baby’s been fed and has had a nap
The last thing you want to do when your baby is tired and hangry is to bring her to a potentially overstimulating environment. (I learnt this the hard way when we brought my 4-week-old for outdoor zi char in 33-degree weather — and during dinnertime, a.k.a. her bedtime, no less!)
Now that she’s older, my baby is a little less volatile, but in the early days, you need to set yourself up for success. Bringing her downstairs when she’s napped, eaten, and is in a fresh set of diapers will up the likelihood that she’ll stay in a good mood during your excursion.
Stick to alfresco or outdoor settings in the beginning
Yes, I know. It’s so hot in Singapore, how to bring a baby outdoors??
To which I say: who says you need to bring her outside when the sun is high? Aim for early mornings, late afternoons, or right after it rains. Dealing with a crying baby outdoors is way less intimidating than dealing with one when you’re inside a cafe. If you do want to sit down for a cuppa with bub, aim for outdoor seating beneath a fan. If your baby isn’t used to going outside with you alone, she’ll likely be curious about her surroundings, meaning she’ll protest if you sit down with her for too long. Alfresco seating usually provides more things for her to look at and is more spacious, making it easier for you to get up and bounce her around if needed.
And again, dealing with a crying baby in the outdoor setting of a cafe is way less paiseh than dealing with one when you’re seated inside.
Downsize your diaper bag
I’m going to say something that postpartum me would have never believed, which is…you don’t need that much barang when you’re bringing your baby out. Depending on the length of your outing and the location, you could probably get away with just bringing a couple of diapers, a packet of wet wipes, a toy, and if you’re not nursing, a bottle with formula or expressed breast milk.
I know it’s tempting to bring an extra set of clothes — and yes, poonami is a very, very real thing — but if you’re just going downstairs, you can always rush back up. (I’d definitely still stick an extra onesie in my bag for longer outings.) But if the thought of hauling a huge bag stops you from going out alone with your baby, practice downsizing when you bring your baby to nearby locations. Perhaps you’ll be surprised at how infrequently you actually need a muslin blanket, five extra burp cloths, or a packet of nursing pads. If you simply can’t do without them, you can also consider preparing pocket-sized tissue and wet wipe packets instead of packing the brick-sized ones from home.
Going further? Make your destination an “easy” location
So you’ve decided to graduate from walks downstairs. You’re ready to bring your baby for an actual outing, but you’re feeling a little stressed about the commute. I get it — bringing your baby from Point A to Point B can feel a little overwhelming when you’re on your own, so in the beginning, make Point B a location where your baby can possibly nap, eat, or have a diaper change. For example: a friend or a grandparents’ home or a mall with ample clean nursing rooms (bonus: air-conditioning, which puts my baby right to sleep). Once you’ve got a handle on the commute, you can start aiming for more ambitious locations, such as far-flung hawker centres, cafes with no nursing rooms, or attractions like the zoo or the Botanic Gardens. Speaking of the commute…
Do your research on private hire vehicles
Taking your baby on the bus or MRT is relatively straightforward, especially if you’re not bringing a stroller. But taking a baby on a private hire vehicle is a little different. By Singapore law, children below 1.35m must be restrained with a car seat, booster seat, or adjustable seatbelt when in a private hire vehicle. In other words, you’ll need to book a family-friendly vehicle — such as GrabFamily — when booking one. (You could also bring your own car seat, but these can be finicky to install, especially when the Grab uncle is in a rush.)
The easiest thing is to book a regular taxi since these are exempted from the requirement. But make sure you keep your baby secure in a carrier and buckle up.
Again, if your baby isn’t used to riding a car while strapped to you in the carrier, practice with short distances first. Do also prepare adequate wipes in case your baby spits up in the car!
Nursing outdoors?
Breastfeeding a baby in public can feel like a whole other hurdle when you’re a nursing mum. I myself haven’t quite mustered the confidence to do this without thinking. The same principles apply: whether you’re using a nursing cover, the “two-shirt method”, or nursing baby in the baby carrier, it helps to practice at home for a few minutes, then transition to nearby locations downstairs. Let me tell you this: not having to bring bottles or milk when you’re out alone with the baby sure is shiok once you’ve figured out how to nurse in public!
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This article was first published in Wonderwall.sg.
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