Egged on by his older, “cool” friends, Desmond Ryan Patrick began taking crystal meth, also known as ‘Ice’, when he was 14.
This resulted in him becoming addicted to drugs. He was in and out of prison up until the age of 26.
Speaking to AsiaOne on Friday (May 15), Ryan, now 30, said that he had taken drugs because he wanted to feel a sense of belonging.
“I looked up to them as role models… I just wanted to fit in,” he shared.
For years, he had been stuck in a cycle of wanting to quit drugs and cut off his friends, but ended up going back to the lifestyle as it was “comfortable”.
His struggle finally came to an end after his final incarceration.
Prior to going to prison, a show of faith from his friend had pushed him to change for good, he told us.
“That was a time where I was at my lowest, because I was abusing drugs on the daily,” Ryan said, adding that he had been isolating himself and feeling extremely lonely.
This friend would often call Ryan to check in on him even when the latter ignored his calls.
When Ryan told his friend he did not have money to eat outside, he told him “not to talk about money” and come out with him anyway so they could talk about how Ryan was doing.
“From there he sort of motivated me. He told me ‘it’s not the end, let’s see what you can do moving forward.’ I also met his friends,” Ryan shared.
“I felt like there was this glimmer of hope… I had someone who believed in me, and he never stopped believing.”
When asked what message he wished to convey to others who had similar experiences, Ryan said: “You have to be very patient in what you are doing and build trust and confidence with those who want to trust you.”
“Once you do that, everything will just fall into place naturally.”
He also emphasised the importance of voicing out one’s struggles to loved ones. Ryan wished he had told someone about his relapse earlier and asked for help instead of dragging out that period of his life.
“I believe there’s so much help out there right now in Singapore, and there are people who actually care,” he added.
Ryan now runs multiple businesses, including a cleaning company and creative agency that employ and train other ex-offenders.
He has also begun documenting his life as an entrepreneur, husband and father on social media.
@smrp2828 It’s been 656 days since I last posted. A lot changed in between.
Moment of clarity
Adeline Wong was only two years old when her father was hanged for drug trafficking — she lived most of her life not knowing what happened to him.
When she finally found out the truth out at 33, it was a moment of clarity, she told AsiaOne.
“I finally understood why I went through all this,” Adeline said, adding that it also made her appreciate the sacrifices her mother had made for her.
Before his death, Adeline’s father had written her a letter and shared his hopes for her future.
The two takeaways she got from the letter were to be filial to her mother and to be “someone useful to society”.
This prompted Adeline, now 48, to mend her strained relationship with her mother and pursue social work.
“It motivated me to do more for families that went through the same thing as me. I wanted to let them know that there’s hope no matter how dark their lives might seem,” she said.
Adeline now runs social enterprise Human-animal bond In Ministry (HIM), which provides animal-assisted intervention to prisoners and former offenders amongst other beneficiaries.
The certified substance abuse counsellor and animal-assisted psychotherapist also runs a volunteer programme for ex-offenders where they receive an allowance of $50 as they work on reintegrating into society.
She believes that her work is a way for her to carry on what her father could not and he would have been very proud to see what she is doing now.
“I believe that he’d also want do the same if he was given a chance,” she told us.
Impact of drug abuse
Ryan and Adeline were among hundreds of attendees at this year’s Drug Victims Remembrance Day Observance Ceremony held at Suntec City Convention and Exhibition Centre.
The initiative by the Inter-Ministry Committee was first observed in 2024 and falls on the third Friday of May every year.
It serves as a reminder of the extensive consequences of drugs on drug abusers and the loved ones around them.
In commemoration of Drug Victims Remembrance Day, an exhibition titled The Library of Stories, Unfinished will be held at the Suntec City Level 1 Atrium until Sunday (May 17).
The library-themed exhibition includes audio, visual and written elements which explore how drug abuse affects former drug abusers as well as their families and communities.
It also features a campaign film titled Stories, Unfinished which tells the story of a man named Ryan who lost his life due to drug abuse.
The exhibit includes three immersive rooms — Stadium, Cafe, and Dining Room — inspired by different aspects of his life.
In these spaces are live actors who speak to the visitors from the perspective of Ryan’s best friend, girlfriend and mother.
Over the weekend, visitors will also be able to participate in event programmes such as sharing sessions, arts and crafts workshops and guided experiences.
Speaking at the Observance Ceremony, Minister for Law and Second Minister for Home Affairs Edwin Tong said that conversations about drug abuse must always include victims.
“Countless lives are destroyed due to drug addiction. Many children grow up without a parent because of drugs. Innocent people are harmed by drug-fueled violence and crime,” he said.
“Families suffer from the abusers’ drug-induced violence, the consequential fear in their lives being around the abuser, and the grief when they see what their spouse or children have turned into. These stories must be told.”
More information about Drug Victims Remembrance Day can be found at https://go.gov.sg/r-day.
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