Recently, there’s been a bit of talk about money; specifically, how much money do we need to raise a child?
According to reports, some Dual Income No Kids (Dink) say that they don’t want children because it would cost too much to raise them.
How much? Why, you may need to park $1 million. I nearly spat out my Chagee when I read that.
But is it a big load of BS? Do we really need to be millionaires and raise million-dollar babies?
Now, I’m not a parenting expert. But I am a father of two.
And I didn’t have $1 million in my bank when my first child was born, let alone the second.
And last I checked, they were still alive this morning. I’ll check again tonight to make sure.
(Shoutout to my better half, who basically ensured that they didn’t become menaces to society at large. I merely made sure my family met Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.)
But back to the question at hand. Let’s assume the time period for “raising a child” runs from birth to age 21.
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According to financial experts in those reports, prenatal care can cost up to $23,500.
In the child’s first four years, parents could spend up to $95,000 on diapers, formula milk, cribs, infant care, and so on.
You could be spending more than $150,000 on school fees, tuition, etc, by the time your child is 18.
Those are some pretty serious numbers, you say. I agree. The Baby Bonuses can’t cover all that. But think about it.
People in Singapore have raised children in the past — not all had $1m parked before they had kids. (Taking inflation into account, that would have made it about $219,000 in 1965.)
If you amortise $1 million over 21 years, that’s about $48,000 per year.
If both mum and dad earn more than $2,000 a month each, they’d have met that $1 million threshold. Anything more is a surplus.
But wait, you say, surely you want the best for your kids? Of course, I do. All parents do.
Good things cost money, right? Yes. But “best” doesn’t equal “expensive”.
A book can be just as entertaining as a PS5 to a child — plus, it costs less.
Let’s define “best” as having more than Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. How much more, though?
Assuming you already have basic health and safety, do you need big-ticket items?
A standard stroller and a McLaren stroller can both do the same job.
There’s no real difference between regular and premium formula milk.
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Is a PS5 (about 90 Extra Value Meals) the best way to entertain your child? Or can a book (2 Extra Value Meals) suffice?
I know prices are going up year-on-year. But we just make do. Coming from a guy who suffers from fomo and may have an addiction issue, that’s a big deal.
And you know what? Children don’t care how much something costs, as long as it’s you giving it to them.
I remember buying my eldest a toy when he was a toddler. It cost about $30.
The moment we unwrapped the gift, he fell in love with… the box. Played with it every day for months. Never touched the toy.
So what’s best for your kids?
You don’t need an expensive White Lotus holiday — spending positive time with your child is more important.
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Derrick Koh, board director of the Centre for Fathering, told CNA that money is not the be-all-end-all, citing studies that showed how fathers who were positively and actively involved in their children’s lives led to “better emotional and social well-being outcomes”.
“It’s not really about spending more on the kid, it’s really about the time that you spend with the kid,” he added.
That echoes what my son’s paediatrician once told me: The best thing for your child is You and Your Time.
Time is the most valuable thing you have to give your loved ones.
You can earn back the money you’ve spent or lost. You can’t make back time nor put a price tag on it.
When we went on holiday, we couldn’t always do the White Lotus experience.
We’ve stayed at container hotels, attap houses and places where the power cut out during a storm.
But we experienced the good and bad together. And shared experiences strengthen bonds.
So why use a cost-effectiveness metric to decide about what cannot be measured in dollars and cents?
You’re starting a family, not a company.
Sure, it’s a paradigm shift. But as The Beatles once sang, all you need is love.
That’s not some hippy nonsense. That’s what makes things work.
Take the case of Liyana Dhamirah, who found herself homeless and living in a tent while pregnant with her third child.
She didn’t roll over — she did everything she could for her family.
Was it tough? Yes. But now she’s the director of a financial advisory company and even ran for election.
That’s the kind of love I’m talking about. That’s the kind of love that matters.
How could you put a price on that?
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This article was first published in Wonderwall.sg.
Read the full article here
