Katherine Ryan expressed her thoughts on ‘deadbeat dads’ in a tongue-in-cheek podcast after she opened up about the father of her 16-year-old daughter.
The Canadian comedian, 42, who has never disclosed the identity of Violet’s father, broke her years-long silence this week on the type of role he plays in their daughter’s life.
Tearing into him, Katherine claimed he ‘never pays for anything, hardly makes contact and never makes any sacrifices’ for her.
Katherine fell pregnant with her first child Violet when she was aged 25 and had just moved to the UK from Canada with her then boyfriend.
She purposely tried to get pregnant after being diagnosed with lupus and thinking she would ‘never split up’ with Violet’s father.
After relocating in the hope to both build their careers in comedy, her relationship with Violet’s father ended just two years after she gave birth.
Katherine Ryan, 42, has expressed her appreciation for ‘deadbeat dads’ after she opened up about the father of her 16-year-old daughter
The Canadian comedian, who has never disclosed the identity of Violet’s father, broke her years-long silence this week on the type of role he plays in their daughter’s life (pictured)
When they split, Katherine endured something of a white knuckle ride to become successful as a single mother.
Katherine said she realised pretty quickly that her partner wasn’t going to be ‘beneficial to [her and Violet], financially or logistically.’
She decided to make her life in London work because she’d ‘had a youth already’ and wanted to ‘get serious’.
Moreover, she didn’t want to return to Canada as a single parent, telling the Guardian, ‘there was a time when I felt shame about it.’
While on maternity leave from her job in sales, Katherine would look after Violet in the day and try to break into standup in the evening, taking her daughter with her.
Katherine recently opened up on why she loves everything about ‘deadbeat dads’ and urged women to ’embrace the lesson that comes with interacting with one’.
The term ‘deadbeat dad’ is a pejorative term referring to fathers who do not fulfill their financial, legal, or emotional parental responsibilities.
Speaking openly on her Telling Everybody Everything podcast in August 2025, Katherine claimed deadbeat dads ‘breadcrumb your child and not pay anything’.
Tearing into him, Katherine claimed he ‘never pays for anything’, hardly makes contact and ‘never makes any sacrifices’ for her
Katherine fell pregnant with her first child Violet when she was aged 25 (pictured when Violet was a baby) and had just moved to the UK from Canada with her then boyfriend
Katherine said she realised pretty quickly that her partner wasn’t going to be ‘beneficial to [her and Violet], financially or logistically’
She said: ‘God I love a deadbeat dad, a deadbeat dad will breadcrumb your child, will not pay you anything and at first you might get lost in principal. You might think well that’s wrong but people waste their lives fighting for principal.
‘You could do yourself a favour and embrace the lesson that comes with interacting with a deadbeat dad and let it teach you that you can’t manipulate people’s behaviour even if it’s the good of your child.’
She added: ‘A deadbeat dad might run their mouth about you, lie about you, steal photos that you have published and republish them as his own or send them to his friends and family and act like he was with your child.
‘A deadbeat dad might have a reputation of being like he is an amazing father but actually hasn’t seen your child in over a year. That’s fine, that’s all fine, I am the original ‘let them’.
Katherine continued: ‘Let a deadbeat dad be a gift for you.
‘Whenever women want to air their dirty laundry about their deadbeat dad I’m like “oh my gosh babe what you don’t realise is he doesn’t know he is a deadbeat dad.
‘”So now if you tell everybody that he is presumably his ego is important to him then he will start stepping up in the wrong way and for the wrong reasons and now he is just going to bother you all the time, you had it good”.
‘Maybe he is gonna give you a bit of money, maybe he won’t. But what he will certainly do is participate in your day to day, and you were free and clear before.
‘I love, love, love, love everything about a deadbeat dad, my favourite dads!’
Katherine recently opened up on why she loves everything about ‘deadbeat dads’ and urged women to ’embrace the lesson that comes with interacting with one’
Katherine said she and Violet’s father were already struggling in their relationship before Violet was born (pictured with Violet earlier this month)
While Katherine has made sure to share little information about her father in recent years, the mother-of-four said she feels no longer obliged to bite her tongue since Violet is old enough to ‘see for herself’.
‘I’ve been careful never to s**g him off just because I don’t think it’s the right thing to do,’ Katherine said on the Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald podcast on Tuesday.
‘And I really protected him while my daughter was young. I would never say anything bad about him.
‘But now she’s 16, she can see for herself that unfortunately, he’s not a bad person, but he’s never made any sacrifices, never paid anything for her, just kind of texts her, which I think is breadcrumbing.
‘Like, “Hey, love you. How are you?” Which is better than no contact. But he hasn’t been the type of dad that you would want for your daughter.’
When asked directly if he is involved in Violet’s life, she replied, ‘Not really.’
Katherine has previously only discussed co-parenting Violet in carefully measured terms. In her 2019 Netflix special Glitter Room, she said: ‘He’s my child’s dad, and for that reason I shall never say a bad word about him.’
But speaking on the podcast, the mum of four did not hold back her true feelings about Violet’s father – and even joked she would excel at his level of low-effort parenting.
The Duchess star, who also has three younger children with her husband and fellow Canadian, Bobby Kootstra, 43, Fred, four, and daughter Fenna, three (pictured)
The Canadian comedian gave birth to her fourth child, a baby girl named Holland, in October 2025
‘I think I would be a great dad. Like, a non-contact parent. Because it’s so easy,’ she said.
She added: ‘All you have to do with a teenage girl is drive to the mother’s house, send her a text, and go, “Do you want to come get a Starbucks with me?”
‘It’s all they have to do. “If not, I’ll go get you a Starbucks. I’ll drop it off. You come to the car, I’ll give it to you, say, “hey, how are you? I love you. Here’s your Starbucks, bye.” No pressure.’
She continued: ‘I’ve heard so many dads go, “Well, she’s using me for rides. I don’t get anything back.” The flow goes one way – parent to child. There’s nothing they [children] can do wrong. Just make yourself available, make some type of sacrifice.’
‘Unfortunately, my daughter doesn’t have the dad that I would want her to have.’
Katherine said she and Violet’s father – another fellow Canadian comedian whom she had met on the comedy circuit – were already struggling in their relationship before Violet was born.
‘We weren’t really good even before that,’ she explained. ‘So as soon as I had her, I was like, oh gosh, I’m going to have to make a go of this myself.
‘I thought that being a stand-up comedian was conducive to single motherhood because you can be home in the day. And then when they’re sleeping…’
She added: ‘[Violet] came everywhere with me. The UK is so amazing for stand-up because it is small, but there are gigs in all these towns and cities every night of the week. So I started touring properly, like a small tour, when she was three or four.’
The Duchess star also shares three younger children Fred, four, Fenna, three and Holland, four months, with with her husband Bobby Kootstra, 43.
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