She’s best known for starring opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in one of cinema’s most famous ill-fated romances.
But even the most ardent of her fans may not know Kate Winslet’s own first love story, which also ended tragically when he died, the same week that Titanic was released.
The actress, 50, has been married three times and enjoyed brief dalliances with actor Rufus Sewell and model Louis Dowler, but has declared her first boyfriend Stephen Tredre ‘was the other half of my soul’.
The man in question was an actor and writer known for creating BBC series Fish and writing for EastEnders, who met Kate on the set of Russell T Davies’ BBC sci-fi series, Dark Season, in 1991 – in her screen debut.
She starred as one of the three leads, while Stephen appeared in one episode and Kate quickly fell for him, later describing how he made her ‘feel secure and embraced’ and was ‘the most important person in my life, next to my family.’
However, while she maintains that he ‘will always be an incredible love of my life’, the relationship has raised eyebrows online, owing to the fact that Kate was just 15 years old at the time, while Stephen was 27.
Even the most ardent of her fans may not know Kate Winslet’s own first love story, which also ended tragically when he died the same week that Titanic was released (seen last week)
The actress, 50, has been married three times and enjoyed brief dalliances with actor Rufus Sewell and model Louis Dowler, but has declared her first boyfriend Stephen Tredre ‘was the other half of my soul’ (pictured together at the 1996 BAFTAs)
She has confirmed being a minor when she began her romance with a man 12-years her senior, with the couple dating for around five years and even living together, before splitting when she was 19, after Stephen was diagnosed with cancer.
Despite the break-up, they stayed in constant contact throughout his health battle, the same time that her star was beginning to rise with Heavenly Creatures and Sense and Sensibility.
The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind star later avowed: ‘Stephen and I talked every day. This was not somebody I’d turn my back on.’
Stephen sadly passed away at the age of 34 in December 1997, which Kate described as ‘unbelievably heartbreaking’, declaring: ‘All I have left is that we remained very close until the end.’
In later years, she has been candid about never having gotten over his death, once admitting: ‘I talk about Stephen as if I still love him. But I do. I hope I always will.’
But while most people would find fault with a relationship between a 15-year-old and a 27-year-old, Kate has only ever spoken about Stephen with fondness and never acknowledged the possibility their romance was at all inappropriate.
The mother-of-three has been very open about being bullied in her teenage years, describing how she was cruelly teased and called ‘Blubber’ at school, saying: ‘I was chubby, always had big feet, the wrong shoes, bad hair’.
The ordeal left her with huge insecurities, believing she ‘wasn’t good enough’ and ‘didn’t have the perfect body’, and has confessed: ‘I suffered from “No one will ever fancy me!” syndrome, well into my teens.’
The man in question was an actor and writer known for creating BBC series Fish and writing for EastEnders , who met Kate on the set of Russell T Davies’ BBC sci-fi series, Dark Season, in 1991 – in her screen debut (Kate pictured on show)
She starred as one of the three leads, while Stephen appeared in one episode (pictured) and Kate quickly fell for him, later describing how he made her ‘feel secure and embraced’ and was ‘the most important person in my life, next to my family’
However, while she maintains that he ‘will always be an incredible love of my life’, the relationship has raised eyebrows online, owing to the fact that Kate was just 15 years old at the time, while Stephen was 27 (Kate pictured at 17)
It was during this difficult time, where she described herself as ‘shy and vulnerable’, that she met and began dating Stephen, who she described as ‘a great source of strength’ and gushed that ‘my life revolved around him.’
Speaking about her first love to the Los Angeles Times in 1999, she said: ‘He was a great source of strength to me while we were together.
‘He was 12 years older than me. I was 15, and we split up when I was about 19. He was someone who really made me stick to my guns and believe in myself and taught me how to understand who I was.’
And several years later, Kate continued to remember their relationship fondly – despite being so young when it began.
She told Parade in 2006: ‘I was very shy. I was vulnerable. Other girls teased me terribly. I was bullied. I’d just put my head down and get on with it. That was my means of survival. Stephen made me feel secure and embraced.
‘He was the most important person in my life, next to my family. We were together for four and a half years. I spoke to him every day. I’ve never told anyone all this stuff before. I have no desire to hide any part of myself.’
While most would expect the parents of a 15-year-old to be outraged by the news their daughter was dating a man 12 years her senior, Kate insisted that her mother Sally was unbothered.
Recalling the moment she spilled the beans on their romance, she told Rolling Stone: ‘I told my mum and I thought, “Oh, no, she’s going to hit the roof.” And she said, “So what’s he like, then? Are you going to bring him home?”‘
By the time she was 16, Kate had dropped out of school and was working at a delicatessen, going on to move into a north London flat with Stephen, aged 17.
But while most people would find fault with a relationship between a 15-year-old and a 27-year-old, Kate has only ever spoken about Stephen with fondness and never acknowledged the possibility their romance was at all inappropriate (Stephen pictured in 1996)
The mother-of-three has been very open about being bullied in her teenage years, describing how she was cruelly teased and called ‘Blubber’ at school, saying: ‘I was chubby, always had big feet, the wrong shoes, bad hair’
The ordeal left her with huge insecurities, believing she ‘wasn’t good enough’ and ‘didn’t have the perfect body’, and has confessed: ‘I suffered from “No one will ever fancy me!” syndrome, well into my teens’
She recalled to Parade: ‘Stephen was very inspiring. He’d wake up in the morning, open the bedroom curtains and say to me, ‘Oh, what a gorgeous day! Let’s go out!’ He had this extraordinary zest for life. My life revolved around him.’
But after his cancer diagnosis in 1994, Stephen’s health rapidly declined while Kate was in the midst of filming Sense and Sensibility.
‘There was no point to his suffering. No rhyme or reason to it,’ she said. ‘He lived healthfully. It always seemed impossible that this man could ever die.
‘He had a tumor in his leg removed and lots of chemotherapy. I was there. I’d take the sleeper train up from Devon, where we shot the film, and just be at the hospital with him.’
She has revealed that it was Stephen who decided to end their relationship during his cancer battle, which she deemed ‘an act of love’, but one that she always regretted.
Acknowledging her young age at the time, the Oscar winner explained: ‘When Stephen had gotten better and his cancer was in remission, we broke up. I don’t know why.
‘I was so young, when I look back on it. Only 19. How could I have left a person who was so unwell? I thought Stephen was going to be all right.’
Kate has frequently admitted that she has never gotten over his sudden death, insisting their bond persisted until the end.
While most would expect the parents of a 15-year-old to be outraged by the news their daughter was dating a man 12 years her senior, Kate insisted that her mother Sally was unbothered (pictured with Sally in 2007)
Kate has frequently admitted that she has never gotten over his sudden death, insisting their bond persisted until the end (pictured last month)
She said at the time: ‘I had an absolutely extraordinary relationship with him. My dear former boyfriend will always be an incredible love of my life. It wasn’t as if I just turned round and left him. Our relationship reached a friendly end and we stayed close.’
And over a decade after Stephen’s passing, she broke down in tears speaking about the grief and regret she still feels.
‘You don’t [get over it], you learn to live with it. I look back on it and… Sorry, I still get upset when I talk about it,’ she tearfully told the Telegraph in 2008.
‘Stephen let me go, and that as an act of love from one human being to another was overwhelming. When I look back, I wish he hadn’t.
‘I wish I had just been there. To the bitter end. He was gone very quickly and – I still go over those moments in my head.’
Kate skipped the US premiere of Titanic to attend the Stephen’s funeral, later revealing that she was advised not to by bosses, who warned that the decision could negatively impact her career.
‘I suppose I was a bit depressed by that,’ she later recalled to The Guardian two years later. ‘Someone I had spent four-and-a-half years of my life with had just died, and it was just that people would even consider…
‘They would be having conversations with me, saying things like, ‘Look, we understand, this must be a very hard time,’ and then they’d go on to say, ‘but don’t you think Stephen would have wanted it?”
Kate skipped the US premiere of Titanic to attend the Stephen’s funeral, later revealing that she was advised not to by bosses, who warned that the decision could negatively impact her career (seen with Leo at the Golden Globes a month later)
Kate said that when she looks back on that period where she shot to global stardom thanks to the record-breaking popularity of Titanic, she can see she was dealing with a lot, adding: ‘I had a lot of pain, and I was confused about who I was’ (seen last month)
She shot back: ‘”No, he bloody wouldn’t. Stephen would have wanted me at his funeral, and I’m going to be there.” Yes, I was pretty alarmed by that.’
During a tearful profile with Rolling Stone in 1998, she revealed how she sang at his memorial, saying: ‘It was a song that he always loved me singing. I felt like Elton John must have felt singing at Di’s funeral.
‘It was so hard. I knew that if I said a few words beforehand, I would start crying and I wouldn’t be able to sing. So I sang, and the second I stopped I started to choke.’
During an appearance on podcast Happy Sad Confused last year, she reflected on the significance of missing the premiere to attend the funeral.
She mused to host Josh Horowitz: ‘I mean, it’s a terrible thing to even think about now, and obviously I wasn’t going to miss that.
‘So, I sort of missed all of the everything around the release of Titanic, which I don’t know—is that the universe’s way of protecting me from something or just reminding me to do the things that matter?’
Kate said that when she looks back on that period where she shot to global stardom thanks to the record-breaking popularity of Titanic, she can see she was dealing with a lot, adding: ‘I had a lot of pain, and I was confused about who I was.’
Her grief was such that The Holiday star has even credited it as part of why she married her first husband Jim Threapleton, the year after Stephen’s death.
Her grief was such that The Holiday star has even credited it as part of why she married her first husband Jim Threapleton, the year after Stephen’s death (seen together in 1999)
Following her divorce, Kate began dating her future second husband, director Sam Mendes, tying the knot in 2003, before they eventually split in 2010 (pictured together in 2009)
She met the assistant director on the set of her film Hideous Kinky and they welcomed daughter Mia in 2000, but split just six months later.
She later described their marriage as ‘a mess’, reflecting on the moment she decided to leave: ‘I was terrified, but I knew that I had to go. It was like there was a clock ticking.’
Kate explained that Stephen’s death in the middle of filming Hideous Kinky caused her bond with Jim to grow, as he supported her on set.
She said that ‘getting to the end of this film was very hard, but it was made easier by the fact that I tried to see it as though that was the thing I was doing for Stephen. And I’d met Jim by that point as well and he was being great about the whole thing.’
And reflecting on their whirlwind romance in 2006, she admitted: ‘I thought I wanted to be with [Jim]. I was dealing with the pain of having lost Stephen and Titanic coming out. Jim was just a regular guy, and that had a big impact on me.’
Following her divorce, Kate began dating her future second husband, director Sam Mendes, but faced cruel accusations at the time that she was ‘trading up’.
While the mother-of-three confessed that the harsh backlash was ‘shattering’, she insisted ‘it was nothing compared to losing Stephen.’
This week saw Kate opening up about she didn’t believe that Brits were ‘good at processing grief’, as she described how her latest film felt like she was ‘relieving’ the death of her mother Sally, who tragically passed in 2017, from ovarian cancer.
Her latest film and directorial debut, Goodbye June, follows four siblings gathering together to support their mother as her health declines, and brought up a lot of emotions in Kate (seen in film with Helen Mirren)
Her latest film and directorial debut, Goodbye June, follows four siblings gathering together to support their mother as her health declines, and brought up a lot of emotions in Kate.
The movie star said that even almost a decade on from losing her mum, her death ‘still feels like yesterday’ and admitted she struggled to keep her personal experience separate, while starring in the film as June’s daughter Julia.
Appearing on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast, Kate candidly said: ‘It wasn’t necessarily cathartic, but there were days when I was literally reliving what happened when I lost my own mum, even though our film is fictional. And I would find myself strangely trying to almost hide in a funny way.
‘So in the more intimate scenes, perhaps between Helen Mirren and Tim Spall, you know, I would just sit very quietly in the room that we were shooting in and I would hide behind Max, our lovely focus puller, and I would just sit with him quietly watching his monitor and sort of crying on his back.’
She continued: ‘And actually in this country, I don’t think we’re very good at talking about loss. I don’t think we’re very good at processing grief.
‘And in an interesting way it did bring up a lot of those conversations and people were quite grateful to be able to have them, not just the cast, but sometimes the crew as well.’
While her romance with Stephen shaped Kate’s opinions about age-gap relationships in general, as seen in an awkward interview with The Guardian in 2008, about her role as Hanna Schmitz in The Reader – which landed her an Oscar.
Kate was asked if she was able to sympathise with her character – a 36-year-old former concentration camp guard who has an intense sexual relationship with a 15-year-old boy.
While her romance with Stephen shaped Kate’s opinions about age-gap relationships in general, as seen in an awkward interview with The Guardian in 2008, about her role as Hanna Schmitz in The Reader – which landed her an Oscar (seen in film with David Kross)
Kate was asked if she was able to sympathise with her character – a 36-year-old former concentration camp guard who has an intense sexual relationship with a 15-year-old boy (seen in film)
The age of consent across the whole of the UK is 16, with minimum age when young people of any sex, gender, or sexual orientation can legally take part in sexual activity, regardless if those under the age of 16 have given their consent.
But when journalist Kira Cochrane suggested the relatiosnhip depicted in The Reader could be considered ‘paedophilia’ in modern standards, she noted that Kate ‘recoiled’ and responded: ‘I think you should be careful with that word’.
As the interviewer attempted to clarify: ‘But do you know what I mean?’, the actress insisted: ‘No, actually, not with using that word, I don’t.’
And in response to Kira prompting: ‘Even given the fact that he’s 15?’, Kate doubled down, reiterating: ‘No, I don’t. Not to that extent, no, I have to say, I have to be very, very honest, you know, I think that it’s a very dangerous word to use – that applies to pre-pubescents.
‘Let’s bear in mind that this boy turns 16 in the story, and that’s legal marriage age. And Hanna is led to believe he is 17. And the actor himself, David Kross, is 18, you know, he’s an adult.
‘I never, to be honest with you, as a character, and as an actress – obviously the relationship is unconventional, because there is a big age gap between the two of them, and that was how I felt as a person, and I always very much viewed it as an unconventional relationship in that way, and very much as a love story.’
The frostiness of the interview continued, as Kate then directly referenced her relationship with Stephen, saying that she never cared about age gaps.
She said unprompted: ‘You really have to remember that one of the greatest loves of my life, when I was younger, was 13 years older than me, and I was with him for five years, and then he died, and there were 19 years between my grandparents – so, I don’t know, maybe I’ve just never thought age gaps were wildly important.’
In 2015, she once again dismissed any debate over age gaps, when she starred in The Dressmaker with her lover being played by Liam Hemsworth – who is 14 years her junior (seen)
In 2011, she found love with her current husband – Richard Branson’s nephew, Edward Abel Smith, going on to tie the knot the following year and welcoming son Bear Blaze in 2013 (seen together in 2016)
While in 2015, she once again expressed her dislike of being drawn into conversations over age gaps, after starring in another May-December romance film.
In comedy drama The Dressmaker, Kate played a seamstress who falls for a local, played by Liam Hemsworth, who is 14 years her junior.
The actor himself admitted that he’d been ‘worried’ about taking on the role because of his age, saying at the time he felt he ‘was possibly too young to play this part’.
But Kate insisted that the age difference ‘didn’t really occur to me at all’, telling the BBC: ‘My 15-year-old daughter said to me the other day: “Mum, do you realise that Liam Hemsworth is closer in age to me than he is to you?”
‘I just thought: “Cool!” I never really thought about the age thing. I don’t let those things bother me.’
After Kate split from Sam in 2010, after seven years of marriage and welcoming son Joe, 21, she found love with her current husband – Richard Branson’s nephew, Edward Abel Smith.
The couple met in 2011 when Kate and her children were staying on Necker Island in the British Virgin Islands when a storm struck and the house they were staying in caught fire after being hit by lightning.
It was when Edward – then known as Ned Rocknroll – helped them escape that the starlet knew that she’d found ‘the one’, going on to tie the knot the following year and welcoming son Bear Blaze in 2013.
Last year, she told The Telegraph: ‘It was very clear to me that this was the person I was supposed to follow through life. And I still feel exactly that way now.’
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