Jessi Ngatikaura is feeling “really insecure” over the results of her $25,000 plastic surgery procedure.
“I’ve really been struggling. I genuinely feel like this last surgery ruined my life,” the “Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” star tearfully shared in a TikTok video Thursday.
“I know that sounds dramatic, but my whole life is my image. I am on camera, I’m on a TV show, I’m having to do press interviews, and now I’m getting ripped apart by everyone.”
Ngatikaura went on to say that going under the knife “ruined” her career, adding, “I don’t feel comfortable taking opportunities, but I have to.”
The reality star — who revealed the staggering price of the surgeries via Instagram last month — also begged trolls to stop commenting on her appearance, even though she agrees with the criticism.
“I want to tell everyone I am extremely unhappy with the results,” she said in the video. “My face looks terrible, I totally agree.”
Ngatikaura — who is known to get candid with fans on social media — admitted that she “wasn’t quite sure what [she] was getting into” and originally planned on just getting a lower blepharoplasty before being advised to get an upper blepharoplasty and fat grafting.
“I did not want fat grafting, to be honest,” she admitted. “I just kind of listened to a suggestion, not really understanding what it was, what it would do, what the results were going to be, what the recovery was going to be.”
Looking back, she wishes she would have “asked more questions” and that the medical professional would have given her more information.
Ngatikaura, 33, also claimed that the fat grafting was put in her lips, which she “didn’t ask for or want,” and it has made her lips “really lumpy.”
“When you watch Season 5, it’s going to be even worse. I look f—king hideous all of Season 5. My face is swollen, my eyes look crazy, I don’t look like how I used to,” she warned of her appearance.
“I’m really insecure… I understand that I look really different and I hate it. I really do. I look back at how I used to look. I look back to Season 4 and I’m like, ‘Damn, I looked really good.’ I wish I could have seen that. I could cry talking about it.”
Ultimately, Ngatikaura said she was “blinded by her self confidence issues” and wasn’t able to see how beautiful she was without surgeries.
Although she realized she “went way too far because of those insecurities,” this has been the “biggest learning lesson” of life and insisted that besides Botox, she will no longer be touching her face.
Ngatikaura also urged others considering cosmetic procedures to “think about it long and hard, do your research and give it time.”
“It’s OK to be beautiful in your own skin and reach a level of confidence where you don’t feel like you need anything anymore,” she concluded.
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