A few months ago Britney Spears looked as though she was making a positive U-turn on her long and troubled road in and out of sobriety, sanity and celibacy.
With the release of a smash hit memoir, a reunion with her long-estranged sons and a public swearing off of boys and pills, it felt like we were getting a glimpse of our former pop goddess who was ready to regain her place atop music’s Mount Olympus.
What a difference a few months make.
Much to the dismay of her friends, Britney is back with her on-again, off-again boy toy, ‘housekeeper’ and convicted felon, Paul Richard Soliz.
Yes that’s right, this divorced dad of nine, who’s been called a ‘deadbeat’ by his long suffering ex, not only has a beer belly, he also has a prison record.
It’s like Satan himself slapped a coat of shellac on the loser of a Kevin Federline lookalike contest and Brit squealed, ‘He’s perfect!’
A few months ago Britney Spears looked as though she was making a positive U-turn on her long and troubled road in and out of sobriety, sanity and celibacy. (Britney is pictured in July).
Much to the dismay of her friends, Britney is back with her on-again, off-again boy toy, ‘housekeeper’ and convicted felon, Paul Richard Soliz (pictured).
Why Britney, why?
What is it about our favorite faded teen queen that makes her say ‘Oops… I did it again’ every time a slick, flattering greaseball makes his way into her orbit?
Seven months after we thought she’d kicked the rotten eye-candy to the curb she hard-launched him back into her life on Valentine’s Day, when they were seen rolling around the Valley in the Mercedes G-wagon she gifted him.
After striking out three times in the marriage World Series, it’s been pretty clear that Britney’s decline is often tied to her poor choices in men. Friends say she has a ‘thing for bad boys’ – you don’t say.
She started her volatile dalliance with Soliz when her third marriage to hacktor Sam Asghari cratered in August 2023. Sinking as low as she has since she shaved her head in 2007, she rebounded with this new poster boy of mediocrity.
Love flourished with the man-maid as her wits appeared to plummet. She danced with knives and cavorted in lingerie in Instagram posts that sent her sons into Hawaiian exile with their dad Federline.
But by last Thanksgiving she had deboarded the crazy train, given Paunchy Paul the heave-ho and publicly reconnected with her sons.
There was a sweet video of her gifting Jayden, 18, a sweater as he and Preston, 19, surprised her with a Hallmark Movie Christmas, complete with a tree and tears and actual hope for the kind of future she always deserved.
Oh how we all wish that was the end of this story.
Boy-free Britney could be busy rebuilding her empire, putting the finishing touches on her memoir-turned-film script (Universal reportedly bought the rights to ‘The Woman in Me’ for at least $10 million).
She could be tinkering with the new pieces in her recently announced ‘B Tiny’ jewelry line and planning a fun hiking vacay with her teen boys.
Sadly, the girl who wrote the anthem on it knows ‘Toxic’ men are a helluva drug.
Still, one has to ask, what does she see in this guy? Maybe she needs a conservator again to force her to get her eyes checked.
Insiders say that, before their breakup, Sam Ass-ghari ignored his then wife, playing video games unless there was a cellphone camera trained on him, in which case he played the loved-up hubby for social snaps or TikTok vids.
In other words, he treated her like a discarded Kleenex. While Paul apparently has the good sense to worship at her altar – and maybe it’s a simple as that.
They fight like two rabid raccoons in a burlap sack, but she really really loves him, you guys.
Word from within her close-knit circle is that she knows everyone hates Paul and they all hope this fizzles out before he takes her formally hostage by walking her down the plank, I mean aisle.
Sam Asghari (pictured with Britney in 2019) ignored his wife, playing video games unless there was a cellphone camera trained on him in which case he played the loved-up hubby for social snaps or TikTok vids.
Word from within her close-knit circle is that she knows everyone hates Paul and they all hope this fizzles out before he takes her formally hostage by walking her down the plank, I mean aisle. (Britney is pictured outside the Chateau Marmont in May 2024).
I hope and pray Brit has the strength to see sense.
But based on her epic meltdown at the Chateau Marmont last May (when paramedics were called after her and Soliz had a ‘major fight’ – for the record Britney said she twisted an ankle dancing in her room), it seems this union has the propensity to get vicious.
Lord only knows to what unstable depths a pernicious loser can drive a vulnerable woman.
Britney needs to stay connected with her therapist, chef and, most important, her children. She needs to re-embrace the sober and celibate lifestyle that put her on the cusp of regaining her rightful title as superstar survivor.
After all, who is the one woman who deserves redemption and peace? It’s Britney, bitch.
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