“It takes a village to raise a child.”
Rebecca Lim learnt the meaning of that adage after giving birth to her son back in January, and being able to ask for assistance has helped alleviate some of her postpartum feelings, she told AsiaOne in a recent interview.
“I definitely was not myself after I gave birth,” she said. “The hormonal changes made me very emotional, and I would snap quite easily.”
Being an independent person, the 38-year-old actress said that she tried to do everything by herself to be a “super mum” but that “it got better after [she] started to ask for help”. Her husband, Matthew Webster, was the one who reminded her to ask and not take everything upon herself.
“My family support and just being able to talk to my sister who is thankfully going through the same journey as me has helped me so much,” she added.
Her younger sister, Melissa, gave birth to her own firstborn two weeks after Rebecca, and she considers it a blessing to go through the same journey together. The sisters were also close to each other beforehand, but their shared experience brought them even closer together.
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“Having that someone you can share [thoughts with] without the fear of being judged has been so liberating and to know she’s going through it as well helps so much because you know you’re not alone,” she said.
“She’s been a great emotional support. We also have made it a point for our kids to meet once a week if work permits so to see them grow up together has been so heartwarming. I always look forward to their interaction with my brother’s kids as well.”
Rebecca and her siblings lost their dad last year, and with her and Melissa being self-proclaimed “daddy’s girls”, told us that they often discuss how he’d be as a grandfather, hands-on and fun to have around.
“He would definitely shower them with so much love,” she explained. “When my cousin had kids while my dad was still well, he would often volunteer to babysit, and they all loved him so much. My niece would even call him ‘prince’.”
She added that she has “so many good things” to share about her dad when her son gets older, but for now, she tells him: “Ah gong loves you very much.”
Motherly advice
Rebecca is back with a second season of her talk show With Love, Becks. While the first season had her chatting with fellow celebs (and a politician) about marriage, this time it’s about motherhood.
Season two features actresses Sheila Sim, Yvonne Lim and Fann Wong, TV newscaster Lim Peifen, singer-songwriter Tay Kewei and Member of Parliament Tin Pei Ling.
“I feel so much more at ease in my new role as a mum now,” she told us. “My son is now nine months old and it strangely wasn’t until I started filming With Love, Becks, just being away from him for long hours that made me appreciate being able to be with him all the time. And I just cherish each moment with him now.
“Being present really does help a lot too. I guess previously I was too caught up in what I’m not doing right. But now I just really focus on the here and now.”
Outside the show, Rebecca said that the most valuable parenting advice she has ever received was from her mother: “Never discipline someone else’s kid, because you don’t know what their family is going through.”
Nearly a year into being a mother, Rebecca also has something to tell first-time mums-to-be too: “Don’t be too hard on yourself because we are learning new things every day about ourselves and about our babies.
“Strive towards being a better you, not a perfect you”.
With Love, Becks airs on Mewatch, with the first episode available to stream. It also shows on Mediacorp Channel 8, Mondays at 8pm.
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drimac@asiaone.com
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