What would you do if your partner wasn’t your “type”?
That was the question at the heart of the now-viral Instagram post by Singaporean user Sharmaine Lee on July 1, titled “What if God sends someone who isn’t (exactly) your type?”.
In the post, she chronicled how she came to accept her boyfriend, whom she said “only checked one physical trait box” on her list of physical ideals with his “fit body”.
The post went on to elaborate the role her faith played in changing her perspectives about her partner.
She noted that her boyfriend otherwise embodied almost every non-physical trait she wanted, such as being kind and being someone who enjoys listening to her.
Writing about how she’s heard many people emphasise the importance of character over physical appearance, Sharmaine admitted: “Deep down in my heart, I knew that was true… But honestly? I couldn’t look past the physical attraction…”.
This led her to start questioning herself, wondering if she was “too materialistic”, and why this was happening despite her beliefs.
Sharmaine then turned to prayer.
According to Sharmaine, she gradually stopped focusing on what her boyfriend “lacked physically” and instead began to see how his character complemented hers “beautifully”.
“I saw how he loved and accepted me in my shortcomings. I discovered that I genuinely enjoyed growing and learning together with him,” she wrote.
Netizen backlash
But while Sharmaine’s story ended on a positive, it quickly drew criticism online.
On a Reddit thread discussing the post on r/SingaporeRaw, several netizens took offence to the post, with several expressing pity for her boyfriend.
“Super cringe. Pity the guy because girls like her are actually a red flag to me,” one wrote, while another said: “Gosh, I pity the boyfriend. He deserves better.”
The viral post also caught the attention of local influencers, with content creator Dewy Choo among those who weighed in on the debate.
“Singapore’s dating scene is so cooked,” she said.
“Honestly, I think that if you are not happy with someone, you should just let them go and let them find someone that can appreciate and love them,” she added.
Sharmaine’s post has since also inspired a wave of parodies and memes across social media, with many creators putting their own spin on her viral reflections.
One notable rendition comes from Singapore content creator Runner Kao, who posted a satirical Instagram carousel featuring his wife in everyday moments with a similar title.
“Luckily I am good looking,” he captioned.
Not intended to embarrass partner
In response to the backlash, Sharmaine posted an Instagram story on July 6, acknowledging that she understood the concerns and how she could have expressed her thoughts “with greater care” on hindsight.
“I recognise that my post might have come across as diminishing, disrespecting, or embarrassing for my partner. And while that was never the intention, I understand why it read that way,” she wrote, before thanking everyone for the “thoughtful feedback”.
“I’ll carry these lessons with me and be more thoughtful in how I communicate moving forward,” she ended.
A check by AsiaOne on Friday showed that Sharmaine’s Instagram account has since been set to private, though her viral post has since been reshared by numerous netizens online.
Her TikTok account remains open but with only one video posted in 2023.
AsiaOne has reached out to Sharmaine for more information.
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carol.ong@asiaone.com
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