After being together for almost four decades, Hong Kong celeb couple Tony Leung and Carina Lau remain close.
Carina spoke about their relationship in Chinese businesswoman Zhang Zetian’s new podcast Xiao Tian Zhang released on Jan 13.
“The way both of us get along now… our feelings are genuine and stable and we cherish [each other]. But for us to get to where we are today, we went through many tumultuous times together,” the 60-year-old star said.
Carina and Tony, 63, have known each other since they acted in the Hong Kong drama The Clones (1984). They began dating in 1989 and tied the knot in Bhutan in 2008 after 19 years together.
During the podcast, Carina also shared that their ways of getting along changed a lot over the years and that’s normal. She explained: “To be able to set our sights on each other finally, I think it’s because we respect and admire each other a lot. We could have made our rounds [in other relationships], but we still felt that the person beside us is most suitable. That’s what I think.”
While she acknowledged that there is no perfect relationship, she believes it’s how both of them compromise with each other: “We may think we are tolerating our partner, but they are also tolerating us.”
She also shared that she was unhappy for many years as Tony, who is an introvert, had refused to have meals with her, her friends and their partners. She didn’t force him to as he would otherwise be unhappy and uncomfortable.
However, he is much better at accompanying her to those gatherings now, probably because he is older and has adjusted himself to it.
While she is known as Tony’s manager, she believes she is more like a “handyman” who helps to manage his work, including encouraging him to star in Marvel’s film Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) when he felt strongly he wasn’t suitable for the role.
“I told him, ‘Those people who know you are around our age. To allow the younger generation to get to know you, you must be able to get into their world’,” she said, adding that Tony’s perspective changed after filming the movie and trusted her judgement in accepting roles.
Despite that, Carina said she would ultimately respect his decision. On a professional level, she insists on not receiving a commission from him, because she feels it would diminish the value of her advice, lest Tony feels forced to accept a movie role for her commission.
However, she quipped that if Tony were to give her a present separately, she would accept it willingly.
‘Quite a lot of apology cards’
Zhang also asked if there was a gift from Tony which she really hoped to throw away, but there was none.
Carina explained she wouldn’t discard the present even if she doesn’t like it, because he puts effort into personally picking out the presents and cards for her.
“I am always touched by his cards because he personally wrote them. I have a lot of his cards in my cupboard, including birthdays and apologies. And there are quite a lot of apology cards,” she laughed.
As Tony might not be able to express his regrets after doing something wrong, he would write a long note for her.
“He actually understood everything. He might have hurt me unintentionally, and I would let him know I was hurt and he would reflect on himself.
“He would list out [what he had done wrong in the card]. I would prefer to talk it out directly, but he isn’t like that. He needs time to process and if he felt he had done something wrong, he would apologise. I think there’s courage in apologising and being a strong person means having the courage to do so.”
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yeo.shuhui@asiaone.com
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